Thoughts on a Day: Double Crash!!

July 16, 1991, Double Crash!!

Tuesday morn. Yea, the G. Jay Garlick family reunion. We had a great barbecue. I felt great! It is July 3rd. Hironaka's had the driveway of fire and we loved it. Henry had lots of fireworks and we all ooohd and aahed at them. Kami, Alan and family go on the 6th after here almost a month. She had come to nurse me better. Loved having them here!! Hope we all had a great time. The love of family is so great!

Eleventh to fifteenth. Not coughing and feel better. Monday, took Marne', Maria,and Ruth to Salt Lake. I felt great. We visited the Lion House, Temple Square etc.

Best laid plans can go awry. It is a beautiful Tuesday morning. No warning, headed for a crash again. My blood is royal blue but it comes out bright red. Thanks to Dr. Haymond I get to a specialist sooner than I would have. It looks serious.

Bronchioscopy not good, too much bleeding. I am in Intensive care, lots of good nurses. How blest they should be for the service they give. Oh yes they get a wage but I think there are a lot of things which money can't buy. A smile, a tender touch, a soft sweet voice, patience and more. Eight brilliant doctors giving many more hours of time than most men's eight hour shift. They have stress, questions, trauma, smiles, tears, life and death.

Doctors Haymond, Lewis, Hill, Bishop, Fullmer, Acey, Smith and Badger analysing my heart plus lungs and a problem. The lung cleared for another test. All specimans returned benign. Fear of cancer gone—bleeding stopped.

I had been on the line. I didn't realize that. Red flag warnings were up. As I reflect back I knew how I felt. I didn't realize how serious it was. Dr. Lewis said, "You are between a rock and a hard place." Cumodin gone and you have a real stroke cumodin in and you have a bleeding lung to bleed to death. Surgery is standing by, thus the red flag.

What a way to spend a summer. Great motels but no swimming pool. Breakfast in bed, in fact lunch and dinner too.

Prayers of family, prayers of friends, prayers from the ward, my prayers. Yes, to heaven, if God will spare me and give me strength to breath to have many more years. I feel a great call to influence those lovely grandchildren. Yes, I am selfish. I have often felt a great loss that my mother could not love and cuddle her grandchildren. I feel I should make that up for her loss. Can I do for others? Can I be a good influence? Can I be who I should be? Can I do as I should? Have I been as I should be? Now this calls for pondering. Yes, I know I am a daughter of God. Yes, I think I have used my blessings well. I could develop my talents better. Yes, I am a good teacher, but can always improve. I love being a wife of a partner who treats me as a Queen. He challenges me to grow and better be. He is on day seven, I struggle at day three. But he encourages and waits for me, and we look together at eternity.

David, Annette, and Jessica Ann have moved in to help me get back on track. I must keep myself under control and not create another "Twilight Zone." That is how it feels—this can't be real, but it is.

-EHG